Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
