So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
