what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I think a kid would responsible me up
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
