i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
