the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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