i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
