I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
