May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
