maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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