oh god the rape fog is back!
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
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