So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
