I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
