Just fell off a train. Bad.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
