I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
