man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
