It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
