I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
