my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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