Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
