he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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