How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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