I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize