Don't you send me to vm
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize