when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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