no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
