don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
