I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
