I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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