people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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