Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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