Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
it's great music for shaving your balls
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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