is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
