She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize