Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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