I think I just saw someone hide a body.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
