Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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