separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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