You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
