he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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