im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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