i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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