it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
