So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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