You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
