My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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