Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
