From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
