i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I think I just sharted jello shots
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
