Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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