I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
