the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
