I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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