just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
