i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
