Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize