HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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